|
FROM: JAN-FEB 2009 ISSUE | BY MERGE GUPTA-SUNDERJI
Criticism from others is a fact of life. Sometimes it is couched as gentler “feedback,” or presented as a “pointer.” Occasionally, criticism is offered as “advice” but whether it comes up in your professional or personal life, it’s to your benefit to open-mindedly evaluate it.
Keeping an Open Mind
Because criticism is often hurtful, most people respond with a combination of two reactions: to indignantly and completely discount both the message and the source, and to get so upset that they dwell on it for days. Both are destructive responses. Do not fall into the trap of immediately disregarding criticism. If you do, you run the risk of crossing over from confidence into arrogance, and there’s a fine line between the two. Often, there is truth to the feedback, and it can be to your advantage to pay heed to it. But there’s no point in letting it devastate you either. The key lies in finding a way to evaluate and respond to the criticism. The “window model” is an effective tool to accomplish just that.
On a piece of paper, draw a two-by-two grid or window. Across the top write “Not Valid” and “Valid.” Down the side, write “Not Important” and “Important.” Ask yourself if the criticism is valid and important.
Using the window, assess the feedback into one of the four window panes. Only criticism that falls into the fourth pane requires your focus and attention.
Not Valid and Not Important
Let’s say a co-worker, at an informal water-cooler discussion, points out that you mispronounced a word, something that you know is incorrect. In this situation, the criticism is not valid, nor is it important. Simply offer a response such as “I can see why you might think that,” and let it go.
Valid, But Not Important
Another co-worker criticizes you for several spelling errors in an e-mail you sent to him. In this case, the spelling errors are legitimate as you were in a hurry and didn’t proofread. Fortunately, the e-mail was not widely distributed. Here the feedback is valid, but in the large scheme of things, not important. Again, offer a graceful response such as “Thanks for letting me know.”
Not Valid, But Important
Your boss (who incidentally has no fashion sense) casually observes that your shoes clash with your outfit. You know the criticism is not valid; however, because of the source (your boss), it’s likely important. Yet again, respond gracefully and move on to other pressing issues.
Valid and Important
Your manager lets you know that the report you sent to senior management contains several calculation errors. Upon checking, you realize that she is right. Here, the feedback is both valid and important. This is the only criticism that you should invest energy into acting upon.
For criticism that is valid, but not important politely respond, “I can see why you might think that,” and then self-assuredly move on.
[ TOP ] |